I have been trying to have more charity in my life, so
today I decided to study a little more about it. J
Charity: The “What”
I like to go through the Who/What/When/Where/Why/How thought
process, so today, let’s start with the “What” of charity. What is charity? The
first definition I found on
lds.org
is this:
“Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is the love that
Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men should have for
one another. It is the highest, noblest, and strongest kind of love and the
most joyous to the soul (see 1 Nephi 11:23).”
So basically, charity is the pure love of Christ and is the
most joyous to the soul. Right this very moment, I’m not performing any
charitable act, nor am I on the receiving end of one, but I want to feel that
love. I want to know for myself that the pure love of Christ is truly the most
joyous to the soul. I want to experience that joy. I know that I can experience
that if I love and serve others with a pure heart. I want to feel the love that
Christ has for others – my family, my friends, and even people who I don’t know
very well or don’t know at all. I want to see others as He sees them. Let’s
keep going:
In Moroni 7:45, we read: “Charity suffereth long, and is
kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily
provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the
truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all
things” So what I get from this is:
·
Charity suffereth long. Charity deals with crap.
Sometimes in life, crappy things happen. We have a crappy job, a crappy living
situation, a class in school that we might hate, or just any kind of rough
situation that lasts a little while. I think that to have charity means that
you deal with hard things that come, even when they last for a long time. I’m
not saying that you have to stay in these situations and be miserable
for days, weeks, months, or years to have charity (by all means, try to improve
them!), but sometimes we can’t control these kinds of things. We don’t get that
new job we applied for, we need that class to graduate, we haven’t yet found a
better place to live… whatever the circumstance may be. But through it all, we
keep our chins up, look to our Savior, and run our races with patience (Hebrews
12:1-2). I think that’s actually this is: patience. To have charity, we must be
patient.
o As
kind of a side-thought, I thought of this quote I had heard once and loved that
talked about how patience wasn’t just sitting and waiting. I found that quote
(from a talk given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf in Priesthood Session of
General Conference in April 2010):
“From that experience, I
learned that patience was far more than simply waiting for something to
happen—patience required actively working toward worthwhile goals and not
getting discouraged when results didn’t appear instantly or without effort.
“There is an important
concept here: patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act
because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means
staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising
faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are
delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!”
That is exactly what I was
looking for! Again, I wanted that to be kind of a side-note, but then I kept reading,
and it turns out that this actually fits perfectly with charity! Look:
“Impatience, on the
other hand, is a symptom of selfishness. It is a trait of the self-absorbed. It
arises from the all-too-prevalent condition called “center of the universe”
syndrome, which leads people to believe that the world revolves around them and
that all others are just supporting cast in the grand theater of mortality in
which only they have the starring role.
“How different this is,
my dear brethren, from the standard the Lord has set for us as priesthood
holders.”
Or, you know, for anyone,
really.
·
Charity is kind. …I think that’s pretty simple.
To have charity, you must be kind. Do kind things for others, but also speak
kindly of others. Speak kindly to them, too. Treat them kindly. Just be kind.
·
Charity isn’t envious. I’m a definition person,
and I love this definition of envy: “a feeling of discontented or resentful
longing aroused by someone else's possessions, qualities, or luck.” That’s
disgusting. It’s totally selfish. However, with that said, I don’t know about
anyone else, but I will openly admit that I sometimes feel envious of others.
It’s an easy state for me to slip into. I don’t envy their material
possessions, but their friendships with other people, and that envy always
leads me to feel slight resentment toward the other person. Sometimes I judge
them unrighteously, which I’m pretty quick to recognize and remedy, because I
HATE when people judge others unrighteously (doesn’t mean I’m perfect, but it does
mean that I try to eradicate that when I see it in myself). But it’s ALWAYS
selfish, which is opposite of charitable. That reminds me of this quote from
Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, referring to the story in the Bible of the laborers
in the vineyard who worked different amounts of hours but got paid the same,
see
Matthew
20:1-15:
“As the householder in
the parable tells them (and I paraphrase only slightly): ‘My friends, I am not
being unfair to you. You agreed on the wage for the day, a good wage. You were
very happy to get the work, and I am very happy with the way you served. You
are paid in full. Take your pay and enjoy the blessing. As for the others,
surely I am free to do what I like with my own money.’ Then this piercing
question to anyone then or now who needs to hear it: ‘Why should you be
jealous because I choose to be kind?’ Brothers and sisters, there are going
to be times in our lives when someone else gets an unexpected blessing or
receives some special recognition. May I plead with us not to be hurt—and
certainly not to feel envious—when good fortune comes to another person? We are
not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against
each other to see who is the wealthiest or the most talented or the most
beautiful or even the most blessed. The race we are really in is the race
against sin, and surely envy is one of the most universal of those.”
It’s kind of a wake-up call, right? For me, yeah.
·
Charity is not puffed up. Charity is not
narcissistic. Charity doesn’t put herself above others, especially by
diminishing those around her. Charity isn’t prideful. Charity isn’t puffed up.
·
Seeketh not her own. Charity is not
self-promoting. Charity doesn’t do things to be seen of men. Charity looks at
her intent behind every action she’s about to take, and if that intent is to
get attention from others, she refrains. Charity doesn’t put herself before
others, she puts others before herself.
·
Not easily provoked. I think this goes
hand-in-hand with patience. Charity doesn’t let something small set her off.
There was this one time where someone said something negative about my family
in a joking-ish manner. I don’t take those kinds of comments lightly. Imma be
honest, I was pissed. I chose to say nothing and kill the conversation there,
because I felt that was the best thing course of action for me to take. I
didn’t know what else I could have done. Had I chosen to fight back, I would
probably have blown up that situation way bigger than it needed to be. But I
think this is what charity is talking about. Don’t let yourself get so easily
worked up. Could I have handled the situation with more charity? Probably. How?
I don’t know. But at least I didn’t lash out at this person for kind of
attacking the most important people in my life. Anyone have any thoughts about
charity not being easily provoked? My only thought is the obvious one: Don’t
get mad so easily. Don’t let things get to you so much, especially little
things.
·
Thinketh no evil. I think there are a lot of
things to be said about this, but I think the most relevant regarding charity
is to think well of others. Every once in a while, I struggle with this.
Someone comes into my life who I have a hard time loving, and I have to pray
and pray for help with that. The thing that helps me the most is thinking
positive things about that person. I know from experience (/several
experiences) that thinking good things about others helps us to love them and
to treat them well. Keep your thoughts pure and loving and your heart and
actions will follow suit.
·
Rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the
truth. Maybe this is just my naïve opinion, but I feel like it’s a common thing
for people to rejoice in iniquity. We laugh when others use inappropriate
language, we respect and congratulate those who have “courage” to break the
rules and do things we know we shouldn’t be doing. I think one reason for this
is that we know we are imperfect, so to see others’ imperfections, especially
the ones that we relate to, makes us feel like we’re not alone. We celebrate
them. I’m not saying that it’s bad to accept imperfections in ourselves and
others (I kinda think we need to or else we’d all be very hopeless, depressed
people). But I think it’s when we accept these and refuse to overcome them and
turn these flaws, or, if you will, weaknesses, into strengths that we really
cheat ourselves out of becoming more than what we are and realizing our
potential. How does this relate to charity? I’m not 100% sure, but I have this
thought: Charity is love, right? So if you love someone, you want the best for
them. You want them to be all that they can be. And as you open your heart to
love, real love, I think you also realize that truth leads to happiness, and
you want that happiness for those you love. How about this one, any thoughts?
·
Beareth all things. I think this is related to
“Charity suffereth long.” When I read this, I just think of someone who just
takes everything that is thrown at them, knowing that it will make them
stronger. And not just like standing there getting pelted with stuff, but like
a shortstop in baseball, fielding everything that comes his way. Sometimes he
stops the ball and gets the out, other times he stops the ball and falls short
of making the best play. Sometimes it goes right past him (whether that’s his
error or not), and he has to learn to rely on the help of the outfielders to
make the play. But after every trial, no matter the outcome, he comes right
back and does it again for the next batter. I went to a softball pitching camp
once where I learned this piece of wisdom that I think applies to just more
than just pitching: A good pitcher always forgets the last pitch. I think
that’s true. Yeah, sometimes it’s helpful to remember your successes, I’ll add
that, but personally, I think that most of the time, it’s helpful for me to
forget what I’ve done in the past and focus on what I’m about to do in order to
perform at my highest level. As we field every trial that comes our way,
staying focused, I believe that we grow stronger and more capable of doing
harder and harder things. Again, how does this relate to charity? I’m not sure.
But my thoughts turn to my parents. In raising my siblings and I, all ten of
us, I am confident that they might understand more of what “bearing all things”
means as it pertains to charity. I think they have learned more about this
through their experiences than I have.
·
Believeth all things. K obviously, I’m pretty
sure this isn’t saying that someone who has charity believes every little thing
that is out there, because we all know there are false and incorrect teachings.
But sometimes, I think it’s hard to accept truths that are hard for us to
understand or receive, but if it’s truth, it’s truth, and we should accept it
and believe it. Like President Uchtdorf said, “First doubt your doubts
before you doubt your faith.” All of these last ones are hard for me
to relate to charity (so I’m serious, if you have any
thoughts/insights/experiences, please share!), but for this one I’m thinking
that someone who possesses the true love of Christ would be believing and
accepting of His teachings. And personally, I believe that Christ’s teachings
aren’t just for Sunday School.
·
Hopeth all things. My simple understanding/explanation
of hope is a bright faith in the future. The opposite of hope is despair, a
feeling which takes over our hearts, making it nearly impossible to be hopeful
and to feel loved or love others. I think that hope is kind of a result of charity,
and I want to say that charity can also be a result of hope. Both affect the
heart.
·
Endureth all things. The Relief Society motto is
“Charity Never Faileth.” Charity endures hurt, anger, sadness, fear,
loneliness, bitterness, pride and resentment, but it also sticks around through
happiness, relief, excitement, and joy. Pure love heals and augments. And
doesn’t that seem fitting, since Christ is the Master Healer himself? J Someone who has charity truly endureth
all things with love in their heart.
There’s probably a lot more that can be said on charity (you
could probably check
lds.org for
that!), but I feel that I have sufficiently answered the “What.” Well,
sufficiently for me, at least. I could probably exhaust it further, but I’m
happy with this for now. Bottom line, charity is the pure love of Christ. If
you seek to have charity, to have pure love in your heart, I feel like all of
this will fall into place.
Stay tuned for more posts on charity. (…I don’t think any of
them will be this long. ;)) J
Life?
Life is good. J
