When I’m in the process of getting to know a person, I like
to think about what their spouse is like, or what their future spouse might be
like. I can’t really give generalizations about what kind of Significant Other
a person chooses (or will someday choose) says about them, but it’s interesting
for me to think about. I’ll give you a few examples of couples I know that
might give you an idea as to why I find this fascinating:
Couple Numero Uno: Total Opposites
The Husband: He is crazy. Like, daredevil, maybe a little
arrogant, fun-loving, adventurous, prideful (but still a great person),
outgoing, loud, confident, kind of a bro. Also unorthodox and slightly
inappropriate at times, as most famously noted in his Sacrament Meeting talks.
It’s freaking funny, but it makes his wife roll her eyes a bit. ;)
The Wife: She’s like the sweetest person ever. Quiet,
relative to her husband, but definitely able to stand her ground and not a
pushover. Super nice, very loving, approachable, generally happy. Strong
testimony. Overall great person.
The Combination: They definitely complete each other. Some
say that opposites attract, but others say that’s only true to an extent. I
tend to agree with the latter. So what qualities do we see in the husband that
we don’t immediately see in the wife? What about the other way around? Or what
similarity do they have that we don’t see in either one? It’s fun to look for
that kind of stuff. I would say that this relationship is complementary, but
they have to have some strong, underlying value or characteristic or something
that they connect with, right? Sometimes, as we look closer, we can figure out
what that is, but other times… well, we may never know. :)
Couple Number Two: Basically The Same Person
The Husband: Mostly reserved, but has been known to let go
sometimes and bring out his goofy side, competitive side, etc. Hipster. Very
smart. Creative thinker. Great friend. Very easy to talk to. Hard worker.
Overall a wonderful person. :)
The Wife: Mostly reserved, but has been known to let go
sometimes and bring out her goofy side. Doesn’t like to watch her husband get
competitive because he sometimes almost gets hurt. ;) Loves to be outside.
Hipster. …excuse me, Non-Traditionalist. :) Very smart. Good thinker. Creative.
Absolutely a great friend. Very easy to talk to. Hard worker. Overall a
wonderful person. :)
The Combination: I know both these kids pretty well, and I
LOVE THEM. :) That’s not relevant to this post, but it had to come out. Anyway,
with couples like this, it’s no WONDER they got married, right? When I look at
these kinds of couples, I see their common values amplified. Let me explain:
Say you have this friend. You know he loves his family, is very religious,
loves biking, and never leaves anywhere without his chapstick. Then he marries
this girl who has had a rocky past with her family, but she’s also very
religious, loves biking, and always has chapstick on hand. All of the sudden,
his love of his religion, biking, and his chapstick seem to be much more
important to him. Maybe you didn’t even realize he valued them so much. Orrrrr
maybe you did and you saw this relationship happening 100 years ago. Either
way.
*Two things: First of all, this
doesn’t necessarily mean that he values his family less than these other
things. Maybe he does, maybe he doesn’t; it doesn’t matter. The point is that
to you, the value he places on religion, biking and chapstick is deeper than
you thought it was before. Second, the chapstick may be irrelevant, but it may
also represent their shared love of small and simple things. You never know. :)
If a person is not married, then I try to imagine what his
or her future spouse would be like. Will they marry someone mostly different
than they are, suggesting a side of them I don’t know, or will they marry
someone pretty similar to them, cementing the values I already knew they had?
Or what if none of that is even applicable? Every person and every couple is so
different that these things have to be considered on a case-by-case basis.
Obviously, these are some more extreme(ish) examples, and
there are varying degrees of differences and similarities. I didn’t even touch
the Happy Medium couples. But hopefully, you can see why I find this
fascinating. Some people look inside a woman’s purse, others inspect the window
stickers on a car, and almost everyone Facebook stalks. But I think that
looking at who they pick/might pick for their eternal companion (or, you know,
like, spouse or life-mate or whatever if you’re not LDS or don’t otherwise
believe in life after death and the bonds of marriage transcending that event)
says a lot about a person, and can help us understand them on a deeper level.
:)
Life?
TONIGHT IS THE BYU MEN'S VOLLEYBALL HOME FREAKIN OPENER!!!!!
Life is good. :)
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