So I just went to my 5-year High School Reunion.
guys, it was weird.
I remember when I graduated high school that I couldn't WAIT for the reunion because I actually, legitimately loved high school.
I loved everything about it. Small post about those days
here. :) But I really loved the people. Yeah, I only had four friends. But people were nice to me and I liked them, even though we didn't really talk (I was lacking in social skills at that point in my life) and we didn't hang out (social skills... also I was a home body). Leaving those people was sad for me. Does that make sense? No. Most people would agree that this sounds pathetic. I guess it is. But the way I see it, I was shy, they were nice, I liked them.
...guys, high school reunions are for people who had friends in high school.
Don't get me wrong, there were people there who greeted me with sincere smiles. One took the time to catch up with me for a bit. Two others actually remembered my name. One girl did all of this and even gave me a hug. :)
But mostly, this was weird. I sat there, awkwardly, hoping I could talk to these people. Hoping that we could all be friends and catch up on each others' lives and laugh and stuff like that. That sounds cheesy. But for real, that's what I wanted. What did I get? What you're all expecting- friends caught up with friends. Laughed and had good times. And I just sat there. Stephanie Fiso, the quiet one. The shy one. The awkward one. I reverted back to who I was in high school. I was terrified. I couldn't talk to these people. I had no friends to catch up with. I had Kristen, but we talk all the time. Jessica's on a mission, Ashleigh and I don't actually talk, and Chrisanne was probably with her fiance. Therefore, I had no one to talk to. IT WAS PAINFUL. I didn't want to be there! I should have tried to talk to people, but I failed... I didn't want to intrude. Who was I to suddenly strike up a good time with people I was never real friends with in high school?
I'm a runner! I ran a half marathon and a Ragnar last year, and I have another Ragnar and two more half marathons coming up! Guess what- I have friends! I gained social skills! I'm confident in who I am. I picked up the guitar. I love biking now. I play volleyball. I can be witty. I've learned life lessons... What do they care? How would they ever know?
Anyway, it was weird, and I'm disappointed in myself for coming so far in life (ha... I still have so far to go!) and then completely forgetting how much I've learned and progressed since high school.
I ain't going back to no 10-year reunion. If I can't talk to them now, how am I supposed to talk to them in five more years?
They're still great people doing great things. If I were to run into one of them (and only one at a time) later in a future ward or job or something, I'd be able to talk to them and we could be friends. But as a group... I just want to get away from high school now.
Welp, life is always good, guys. Life is always good.
