sorry... :(

Well,

Country Swing Dancing is awesome. I. love. it. So much! We went last night and I got asked to dance like every dance!! haha! It's been a while since that happened cause normally there's only like 2 guys there that aren't already with dates, but there were tons of people there last night!

My car was broken yesterday. It wouldn't start! So my dad took me to school yesterday and I was 15 minutes late to my math class, so I didn't understand anything they were doing... yikes. I'll read about it in the book and hopefully I'll understand it. This is also why we have TA's! But don't worry- my dad got my car to start and brought it to school for me and I was seriously smiling so big when I saw it! I'm really attached to my big beast! It's really a softie at heart... hahahahahaha!! ;)

I just like big things. Big houses (even though my future house won't be too big... just really nice. haha!), big cars, big dogs, big families, big guys... haha! K not necessarily BIG guys, but tall guys... haha, oh man!

Sometimes in life, we just need to count our blessings. :)

"I'm a Creeper, Mom!!!!!"

Well...

we'll see how this goes.

"Hello!" :)

K time out: My title for this post reminds me of this line. Name this movie!

"Better a silly girl with a flower, than a silly boy with a horse and a stick."
"It's called a lance. HELLO!!!"

So a lot of times when I have troubles focusing, I end up teaching myself how to play a new song on the piano or my ukulele. Here's what I've taught myself so far:

• Piano: Don't Stop Believin' (Journey)
• Piano: Listen To Your Heart (DHT)
• Piano: Apologize (One Republic)
• Ukie: I'm Yours (Jason Mraz)

Not the whole song, but like the intro or chorus or whatever strikes my fancy. Except for I'm Yours... that's pretty much the same throughout the whole song. Now I just need to learn the words so I can sing them in order! haha! ;)

chiHOO!!!

There are some things in my life that make me happy.

...and so I smile. :)

Lu'au practice.

People.

"sleep well, and have an excellent second day back!"

Dancing.

My Ukulele.

Country Swing Dancing.

The little Ukulele.

Clogging.

FAMILY!!!!

Disneyland.

Sincerity.

The gospel.

life. :)

(um... I normally like to put a picture up for every post. As I was looking through my pictures, I couldn't choose one... cause they all made me smile. :) )

It's gonna be a good year. ...I can feel it. :)

Something that I wanted to share. :)

"Change is constant. We are continuously changing throughout our lives. I am changing. Something inside me is changing.

"When I was little, my testimony was pure and strong. There was not a force powerful enough to convince me that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints was not true. You could Not tell me that the scriptures were wrong. I knew. And that was it. I had such a love for the gospel. I had such a love for life and those around me. I was fearless. But change is constant.

"Somehow, I lost that surety. I lost that confidence – all confidence. I became dependent on unstable things. I never really lost my testimony, but I think it was weakened. It's like it wasn't as important to me anymore. I think I put it on the back-burner. And let me tell ya- LIFE. WAS. HARD. And I didn't know how to deal with it. Everywhere I thought to turn seemed to bring relief for a little bit, only to open doors to new troubles. (I think back to this time now and I think that there must have been times when I did turn to the gospel in at least some form or another, or else I probably would have been pretty lost at this time in my life.) But I don't feel like I really solved anything or truly learned the lessons I should have.

"Then, I don't know exactly when it was (but I know that Seminary, YW's, and my sister were involved), I remembered my Savior. I brought my testimony (dusty as it was) back off that back-burner, and with the Savior's help, I started strengthening it. I tried to better recognize the promptings of the Holy Ghost. I started doing the things that I knew would bring me closer to God. It's not like I was getting into any trouble before, but I wasn't making the effort to really know what I knew before. Today, I remembered my testimony. I fully remembered it. I know now the absolute truthfulness of the gospel. It's undeniable. It's just what I knew when I was little – I can feel it. And I know that it's going to get better from here."

:)

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

but what would my blog be without something at least somewhat random?

Merry Christmas to you: from me and baby Kai! :)

Now I can't wait, to see you again. ;)

Can I just tell you about my day? Here are the main events:

I got a 90% on my terrifying Book of Mormon final!!

I studied for like 4 hours and 45 minutes for my Humanities final... the only studying I did for that test... I don't recommend it. I got an 80%, which is ok... but short of my goal for acing all of my finals... meh.

"Well it looked like a backwards i." "...a backwards i is still an i, Melissa..." hahahahaha!!!

While studying I saw a guy I used to work with, and then this lady came up and complimented my jacket AND hair! :)

I saw a dead bird...

The bookstore wouldn't take back ANY of my textbooks... grrr...

Then I saw Shelley! :)

And then Kaisha! :)

Texted some friends. :)

Went to be a good daughter and pay for my own gas (NOTE: this is the first time I have EVER fueled up by myself!! Like, not even my dad came with me! He didn't even know I went! This is kinda a big deal for me!). So I pull up at Smiths, turn off my car, get out, and then realize I pulled up on the wrong side. oh geez... MLIA. haha!

My car now has fuel. :)

My little brother is going to Preference!!! FUNNY story!!!!

I'm done with finals!!! Time for Christmas! :) ...and four hours a day on the piano... oh man... wish me luck!

Don't Forget to Look at My Christmas Countdown Below!! :D

Ok.

Stop.

NOW.

I can't take it anymore. PLEASE. Please please please just be yourself. Stop being someone else. Stop bowing down to the people in life that you feel the need to impress. Stop making yourself a show to watch. Step away from the mirror, your pictures of you, your videos that show off "your" style. You're becoming superficial, and I hate that about you. Where are you? That's who I want to see. That's who I want to talk to. That's who I want to be around. Look around you. You're not the center of the universe, and everyone is not always watching your every move. Ok? Be YOU. And not the you that you think you are. You need to go back and find yourself, because you don't remember what it's like to have a genuine personality. I can't express to you the intensity of this tension that I feel inside knowing that you're out there planning your next "natural" move that, in all honesty, is not going to really do anything. Because you don't deserve it. People can tell that you're being fake. No matter what kind of mask you put on, if it ain't genuine, then it's transparent. And people can see right through it. Take it from someone who knows.

Listen – when you decide to be the real you, the genuine you, you won't have to put on this show. Trust me. Do you? You're worth so much more than this. Every day, we look for truth. Do you understand the warmth and comfort that we feel when we're around you because we know that you you know who you are? Because you are true to yourself? Do you understand the strength we feel when we're around you?

Stop trying. Start doing. Don't be afraid, just take the plunge. Because life is too short to play it safe. "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding." The Lord will help you. Do you know that? He loves you so much, more than my words can tell. Do you remember the Atonement? Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ suffered the sins of the world, yes. But do you know what that means? Yes, he knows your pains, but he also understands them. He understands you. He knows exactly how you feel, and he understands why you are hurt so much when others play with your fragile heart. He also understands why you make those mistakes that eat at your soul. And yet he still loves you. And he's always so willing to take you from where you are right now and lift you higher. He wants so badly for you to return to him. He understands you and loves you; don't you ever forget that.

So please. Please, please, please, please, please. Find yourself. Find that genuine you that is inside you. K? Will you promise me that you will? I need you to. I promise – you'll stop drowning in the expectations of others. It will feel so amazing to finally be you. And don't forget: God is with you every step of the way, if you'll let him be. D&C 84:88. Read it.

I love you. :)